October- Death Café
Join others for the first meeting of the Death Café.
Tuesday 4th November 2.00 to 3.30pm at The Barn, Woolacombe.
This October marks a sad anniversary for me. It was a year ago that my beloved husband unexpectedly died.
Forgive me my indulgence in sharing this with you, but over this year as I have struggled to learn to live a new life, I have been reflecting on the difficult subject of death itself.
A couple of months after Les died, I was kindly invited to a function and was introduced by a well-meaning soul as ‘Susan who has just lost her husband.’
Susan, who has lost her husband. How very careless I thought! I haven’t lost him; he hasn’t travelled somewhere without telling me, passed away, departed, fallen asleep or any of the euphemisms we use to try to soften the subject of death. He has simply died. He is dead, and at times it has been agony.
As a widow, I am no different to any other bereaved partner. There are so many of you who will know the agony of separation from someone hugely significant to you and it doesn’t have to be a spouse. Yet, as a Christian minister who cannot hide away from death, who is called to speak hope into its finality, I increasingly feel that a conversation needs to be opened about our fears, our curiosity, our discomfort and our awkwardness with even saying the word – death.
As the autumn continues with increasingly shorter days and the prospect of winter ahead; as we turn once again to the festivals surrounding death – Halloween, All Souls, All Saints, and of course, Remembrance, it seems to be a good time to meet together to listen, to discuss and if it is appropriate, to share our thoughts and feelings about an incredibly important subject.
After having approached ‘The Barn,’ in Woolacombe, we have been given permission to hold the first ‘Death Café’ on Tuesday 4th of November at 2.00pm until 3.30pm. It will be open to anyone who feels it might be helpful to them and the lovely manager at the Barn has kindly offered a reduction in the price of hot drinks during the session.
All will be welcome, however I am not a therapist or trained counsellor and would urge anyone who is finding life very difficult following a bereavement to seek professional help from their GP, or through a number of organisations such as Cruse, Sands, The Good Grief Trust, or the Samaritans.
Despite being both a Christian minister and the facilitator of the group, I value all respectful views, and faith is not a requirement of joining us. Simply being human is enough. So, if this is something that you feel you would like to come to, just turn up and pull up a chair.
As for me, death and grief are very much part of our reality, along with joy and life, yet I believe passionately that death does not have the last word! I believe it because Jesus said it, and his death and resurrection proved it. It changed the lives of his disciples, of the millions who also believe, and it changed me.
As Jesus said to a grieving Martha, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me will live, even though they die, and everyone who believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?’ John 11:25-26.
Revd Susan